profilercharlee

Creating the Drama with everyone you've ever meet

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 13:55:38 GMT

Ok, so I just got back from Melbourne today, where I had gone down with my parents to celebrate my cousin Rebecca's 21st birthday. An Interesting event to say the least.

Now I don't often get a chance to see my cousins from Melbourne, especially since they stopped coming to Sydney for Christmas or we stopped going to Melbourne, but seriously I love them to bits. The last time I saw them, and my aunt, was for a much sadder occasion and it was good to see them for a happier one this time around, along with my second cousin John.

They're an interesting bunch of people my family. You have My cousin Rebecca is about 6'2", maybe 6'3", basically this giant of a girl who towers in height over everyone in the family, including all our male relatives. She's just finished studying Agricultural science, which emsconverse is doing this year, but Rebecca's always seemed posh so it's strange to hear she's been sheering sheep. Which is not to say that there's anything wrong with that but she's a very city sort of seeming girl. Of course it makes more sense when you find out that she's doing it to become a wine... person...

Then there's my cousin Rachel, Rebecca's sister, who is not as tall as Rebecca. I actually think she's shorter then me. Anyway she's training to be a cop... I think that's right. Not really a strange career choice, I mean I could picture her in a uniform and everything. Of course it's a little scarier in Victoria. I mean I'm sure that hole in that window I saw while I was down there was a bullet hole. It was the right size!

Their mother, and my aunt, Luise is this fabulous woman. Everytime I see her I just wish I got a chance to see her more. I don't know why but I love the sound of her voice.

Anyway, it was a great party and I went around with my dad's camera and took about 250 photos, well I took about 150 maybe. my parents took the rest.

So bye for now

Caly

Learning To Breathe Alone - Part V

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 10:33:17 GMT

Title: Learning To Breathe Alone

Author: Profiler Charlee

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Not so much to say I don’t own anything but this story is connected to my Numb3rs fanfic. So anyway I don’t own Numb3rs or any of the songs used.

Summary: Nothing in life is every that easy, and as hard as it is to say goodbye sometimes you just have to, even if you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with that person.

~*~*~

Learning to Breathe Alone

Part Five: You Just Have To Learn To Move On

~*~*~

I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry,

But it always comes out wrong,

I think a part of you still loves me,

Even though we're moving on,

Always, all ways I wanted us to be,

Always, all ways you and me,

And I wait here on my own,

And I wait for you to see,

All the time I spend alone now won't comfort me,

‘Always, All Ways’ by Lostprophets

~*~*~

It’s late and they’re sitting in her living room. Aaren’s already asleep and he’s staying with them while he’s in town, having long since given up his old apartment and when he decided to move out to Spain permanently.

“Aaren was telling me you’re thinking about moving.” He says conversationally.

“It’s nothing definite yet,” She says with a bit of a shrug, “I was just thinking about moving to Los Angeles, most of families out there now.”

“Yeah, I remember you saying your mother moved out there.” He says with a nod, probably more for his benefit then hers.

“Also, you remember my cousin Jenna, right?”

“I think so,” He says taking a minute or two to think about it. “She’s the one that used to call you Danny, isn’t she?”

“She still does,” Jordan says with a smile before continuing. “Anyway… She wants to start a restaurant and I was thinking about going down there and helping out. Plus my manager says there are these people out there who want me to write the music for this short movie there doing.”

“Well that’s pretty good,” He says.

“Yeah… I don’t know it sounds like a good opportunity and I think it’ll do me good to get out of this town” She says, “and Aaren says she’s alright with moving but… I don’t know, I need to think about it some more.”

“Well just tell me what you decide.” He says with a smile. “Wouldn’t want to come back to visit you both only to find that you had gone.” His smile brightens a little as he watches her laugh.

“You know I will… Besides I can’t have you ringing some poor person in the middle of the night just because you’ve forgotten the time difference, should I decide to move.” She responds a smile all of her own playing across her face and it’s his turn to laugh this time.

~*~*~

So I wanted you to know

That I finally let you go

After all I’ve held on to

This is my goodbye to you

I was always there for you

But you never saw the truth

And the reason that I know

Is I’ve finally let you go

‘Goodbye to You’ by Breaking Point

~*~*~

They’ve both changed a lot in those years since their relationship ended.

He’s learnt to accept that he can’t always get what he wants and he can’t help noticing that she seems to smile more these days.

The hurt and the bitterness that they’d never meant cause one another seem to have faded after all this time and they’re probably better friends now then they ever were back then.

In some ways it’s strange, though in other ways it seems to all make perfect sense in such a way that is just quintessentially them.

And besides they never really were ones for doing things normally.

~*~*~

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.

Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.

But people are people,

And sometimes it doesn’t work out,

Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.

And we know it's never simple,
Never easy.

Never a clean break, no one here to save me,

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,

And I can't,

Breathe without you,

But I have to,

‘Breathe’ by Taylor Swift ft. Colbie Caillat

Learning To Breathe Alone - Part IV

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 10:29:16 GMT

Title: Learning To Breathe Alone

Author: Profiler Charlee

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Not so much to say I don’t own anything but this story is connected to my Numb3rs fanfic. So anyway I don’t own Numb3rs or any of the songs used.

Summary: Nothing in life is every that easy, and as hard as it is to say goodbye sometimes you just have to, even if you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with that person.

~*~*~

Learning to Breathe Alone

Part Four: Some Things Are Just Hard To Forget

~*~*~

Time, sometimes the time just slips away

And you’re left with yesterday

Left with the memories

I, I'll always think of you and smile

And be happy for the time

I had you with me

Though we go our separate ways

I won't forget so don't forget

The memories we've made

‘Please Remember’ by LeAnn Rimes

~*~*~

She has no idea what she’s doing here at his apartment in the middle of the night but the minute she knocks on his door she knows she can’t turn back.

He opens it a few moments later, looking rather tired and worn. He looks rather surprised when he notices it her standing there but he eventually lets her inside the apartment that they had once lived in together.

Neither of them says anything and it’s only when they reach the living room that either one seems to dare to break the silence surrounding them.

“I heard about your dad,” he says, “I’m sorry.” He moves over to hug her. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?” She pulls away from him, scoffing slightly.

“Why should you care, you and my dad didn’t even get along.” She says more harshly then she had meant too and she instantly looks apologetic. “I’m sorry, it’s just… I hate that, you know?”

“Hate what?” He asks with a yawn as he takes a seat on the lounge.

“Everyone going around, telling me they’re sorry!” She says childishly stomping her foot. “I’m just so sick of it. I mean I’d like to know what the bloody hell they’re sorry for!”

“Jordan?” He asks worriedly, suddenly not as tired anymore. She doesn’t seem to hear him though, and just continues on with her rant.

“And my god! You’d think I was about to fucking break with the way they’re all bloody talking to me.” She’s yelling now, so loudly he that thinks everyone within a 100 metre radius must be able to hear her.

“Jordan?” He asks again. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen her quite like this before, and he knows that something isn’t right here.

“Of course, you wanna know the funny thing about this is?” She asks and he knows it’s rhetorical. “I still haven’t cried yet. My father’s been dead for over three weeks now and I still haven’t cried.”

He grabs her wrist and pulls her to him. This time she doesn’t resist, just falling into his arms as if she were a giant rag doll.

As he wraps his arms around her, she something inside her seems to break and she find herself crying silently against his shoulder.

~*~*~

And then you bring me home

Afraid to find out that you’re alone oh

And I’m sleeping in your living room

But we don’t have much room to live

‘Konstantine’ by Something Corporate

~*~*~

He doesn’t say anything, mainly because he doesn’t know what he can say, so he just wraps his arms tighter around her.

The embrace is somewhat familiar and it brings with it a pang of nostalgia as he pull her closer to him, making him realise how much he’s missed being able to hold her like this.

“I keep thinking this is a nightmare I’ll wake up from at real soon,” She says, “and I can’t help thinking that there just wasn’t enough time.”

Her voice is barely above that of a whisper but she’s so close that he can hear her anyway. He nods a little to show her he’s listening.

“There are just some many things I still want to ask him, and now I can’t.” She says with a small sigh. “And I know I’m lucky because I got him for 28 years, which is more then some people get but… I still miss him.”

They just seem to sit there in silence for a while and he can tell that she’s still crying, even though he can’t actually see her face.

“Nathan?” She says softly, a few moments later, her voice sounding somewhat ragged and shaky as she looks at him.

“Hmmm?” He says turning to look at her.

“Do you think, maybe, I could stay here tonight?” She asks through slightly red puffy eyes. “Aaren’s staying at a friend’s house and I just don’t want to go home alone.”

“Sure,” he answers with a light smile on his face.

~*~*~

Sweet misery you cause me

That's what you called me

Sweet misery you cause me

I was blind

But oh, how you could see

You saw the beauty in everything, everything and me

‘Sweet Misery’ by Michelle Branch

Learning To Breathe Alone - Part III

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 10:26:57 GMT

Title: Learning To Breathe Alone

Author: Profiler Charlee

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Not so much to say I don’t own anything but this story is connected to my Numb3rs fanfic. So anyway I don’t own Numb3rs or any of the songs used.

Summary: Nothing in life is every that easy, and as hard as it is to say goodbye sometimes you just have to, even if you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with that person.

~*~*~

Learning to Breathe Alone

Part Three: I Really Do Wish You the Best In All You Do

~*~*~

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat

But always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small

When you stand by the ocean

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens

Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

‘I Hope You Dance’ by Lee Ann Womack

~*~*~

He can’t help but think she looks good as she smiles over at him. Their now five year old daughter, Aaren, laughs loudly as Jordan attempts to run around with the little girl riding on her back.

He can’t actually remember the last time he saw her that genuinely happy.

“You having fun there?” He says with a smile as she walks over to him, dropping Aaren to the ground next to them. She grins back at him.

“Of course,” She says before turning to Aaren. “Hey Aaren? Why don’t you ask your dad if he’ll give you a piggyback ride? I’ll bet he can go faster then I can.” He laughs as Aaren turns to him a big grin and an expectant look on her face.

“Daddy?” She asks and Nathan finds himself easily coming undone as the little girl looks up at him, so excited by the prospect of a piggyback ride.

“Come on,” He says kneeling slightly in front of chair so she can climb on and she runs over excitedly. Jordan watches the two of them, smiling when Nathan grunts slightly from under Aaren’s weight.

~*~*~

Do the things that you always wanted to

Without me there to hold you back, don't think just do

More than anything I want to see you go,

Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

‘You Could Be Happy’ by Snow Patrol

~*~*~

They walk to a nearby McDonald’s and she and Nathan take a seat at one of the tables to eat while Aaren runs off to play on the playground equipment there.

“The meals here are much bigger then they are in Spain.” He says looking at the large size meal that he’d ordered and Jordan laughs slightly.

“You know that really doesn’t surprise me.” She says, “I mean they’re definitely bigger than they were when we were kids.”

“That’s for sure... Anyway, I remember you telling me you finally graduated in your last phone call.” He says smiling at her proudly. “Sorry I couldn’t be here to see it.”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t really expecting you to be or anything, but yeah I did graduate. I mean there are still a few things I want to see if I can do but it’ll be nice to finally get a real job.” She says. “Not that I don’t love tending bar but between classes during the day and work I just really miss being able to spend more time with Aaren.”

She looks over to her daughter, who is currently sliding down the bright yellow slide and playing about with some of the other kids.

“Aaren, come back and eat,” she calls out, “your foods just about to get cold.”

Aaren runs over to the table with a mischievous smile on her face and Jordan just shakes her head as she hands her daughter her Happy Meal.

“We’re still going to the shops later, right mummy?” Aaren says eating her chips three at a time before starting the burger.

“Of Course we are. It’s Sunday, isn’t it?” Jordan says and Aaren nods happily.

“Do you think Daddy’ll wanna come too?” She asks.

“I don’t know,” Jordan says as she glances over at Nathan from the corner of her eye, “Why don’t you ask him if he wants to come?”

Both girls turned to look at him at the same time with almost the exact same expression on their faces.

“Sure,” He says trying to sound nonchalant about it but Jordan sends him a knowing smile that tells him he hadn’t been at all convincing.

~*~*~

She likes the romance

The slow dance

That keeps me up all night

She likes the Christmas lights up all year round

And I just took 'em down

She watches baseball

Hates the mall

And now I realized...

What the hell do I know?

About what she likes

‘What She Likes’ by Evan and Jaron

~*~*~

“What? You’re actually going into a sports store?” He says teasingly.

“Oh shush.” She says elbowing him in the ribs playfully. “I really don’t mind going into places like this, besides Aaren and I have both become fans of the New England Patriots.”

“Well, I never thought I’d live to see the day.” He says and she just rolls her eyes as she follows Aaren though the store

“So how goes the soccer?” She asks a few moments later, as the two of them watch Aaren talk to the shop clerk about the shoes she’s looking for. “I haven’t really had a chance to check how you’ve been doing recently.”

“It’s been going alright; we didn’t have as many wins this season though.” He says not really bothering to go into any further.

She can tell he’s not really happy about it, he’s never really been a good loser, but she knows he won’t tell her anything more then he already has.

She knows he doesn’t really think she cares to or even wants to know, he never has…

She just never expected that, even after all this time, it would still hurt.

~*~*~

After all this time

I never thought we'd be here

Never thought we'd be here

When my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know

A part of me died when I let you go

‘Blind’ by Lifehouse

Learning To Breathe Alone - Part II

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 10:12:51 GMT

Title: Learning To Breathe Alone

Author: Profiler Charlee

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Not so much to say I don’t own anything but this story is connected to my Numb3rs fanfic. So anyway I don’t own Numb3rs or any of the songs used.

Summary: Nothing in life is every that easy, and as hard as it is to say goodbye sometimes you just have to, even if you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with that person.

~*~*~

Learning to Breathe Alone

Part Two: And Sometimes You Just Have To Get Away From It All

~*~*~

We scream and shout and try to make it last

Though it didn't work out, I don't love you any less

My lover or friend, I won’t ever tell

Our secrets safe, an unspoken citadel

And in these broken times, well, it’s so easy to forget

So I sing to remind, upon my shoulder you can rest

Cause I'll always give you my best

‘My Best’ By Vanessa Carlton

~*~*~

“So Spain, huh?” She smiles happily at him from across the table of the small café she had met him at in between her college classes. “That’s a good thing, right?” She asks curiously.

“Yeah, it is.” He says. He was so happy when he finally got the news, getting on this team was a good opportunity for him and it bound to expand his career.

“Good, I’m happy for you.” She says with a congratulatory nod.

It’s strange somehow, how easily they managed to slip back into being friends but she supposes it was just easier for them both to be friends then nothing at all.

She really is happy for him, and she knows that this thing will be a good experience for him but she can’t help wondering.

“So, what’s gonna happen now?” She asks.

“Well I’ll be living in Spain during the season, but I’ll come back during the off season to see you and Aaren… Unless, of course, you…?”

She knows what he’s asking, had known he was going to ask it because he always did but she had hoped he wouldn’t.

It strange to consider that before all this…

Before Aaren…

Before they had even gotten together…

She would have jumped at a chance like this and somehow that makes her feel more definite that this, breaking up with him, was what she had to do and she knows she should stop giving him hope that this will happen again, for both their sakes.

Though, somewhere down inside, there’s a part of her that misses that comfortable feeling of being with him and wishes that she could just let go of everything and take him back.

But she can’t do that…

~*~*~

I wish that things were different, you know that

But I still happy for the times we had

You mean the world to me

Oh, baby please believe

I wish you strength, when times are hard

Oh, I wish with all my heart you find just what you’re looking for

I wish you joy, I wish you peace

And that every star you see’s within your reach

And I wish you still loved me,

‘I Wish (You Still Loved Me)’ by Jo Dee Messina

~*~*~

“Nothing’s changed,” She says looking at him apologetically, “and I really don’t think it’s going to… You… You really hurt me when you left, and I understand why you did it. It’s just…”

She shakes her head, trying to clear her thought so she can find a way to explain it to him.

“You really let me down and maybe if it was just me I could have gotten over it, I had done it so many times before,” She says staring at the cup of coffee in front of her, “but the truth is it wasn’t… And it wasn’t the first time you’d that done it either.”

“When did I…?” He asks confused before it suddenly hit him. “Oh, the day Aaren was born.”

“I know… It wasn’t like it was a big deal or anything. I mean, we were kind of fighting at the time,” She says possible more to herself than to him, “And truthfully you didn’t really need to be there. But… I still would have liked you to be.”

“I wish I had been.” He says and she thinks it’s nice to finally know after all this time that he does regret not being there because they’ve never really talked about it before.

She smiles at him again, glad they finally got to talk about all this and she feels as if some of the scars this relationship left her with are really beginning to heal.

~*~*~

All the things I've felt and never shared.

All the times that she was lonely with me there,

Tears I wouldn't let fall from my eyes.

And how I let her go without a fight,

The reasons I'm alone, I know by heart.

But I don't wanna spend forever in the dark.

I swear next time I'll hang on for dear life.

If love ever gives me another try,

‘Another Try’ by Josh Turner

~*~*~

“Okay well, I’ll stop by after practice today to see Aaren.” He says taking the last sip of his coffee as he gets ready to leave.

“Alright, and we’ll tell her about Spain together, if you’d like?” She asks curiously.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks.” He says with a smile. For a moment he just sits there before he finally speaks, “I really do love you, you know?”

“I know…” She says sadly, “And I’m sorry, I really am. But…”

“Yeah…” He says knowing what she’s about to say. “Well Goodbye Jordan.”

“Bye Nathan.” She says. He stands up and walks away, glancing back at her one more time as he reaches the door, knowing he need to get away for awhile.

~*~*~

And there you are on your knees,

Begging for forgiveness, begging for me

Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale

I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well

This is a big world; that was a small town

There in my rearview mirror disappearing now

And it’s too late for you and your white horse

Now it’s too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

‘White Horse’ by Taylor Swift

Learning To Breathe Alone - Part I

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 10:04:46 GMT

Title: Learning To Breathe Alone

Author: Profiler Charlee

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: Not so much to say I don’t own anything but this story is connected to my Numb3rs fanfic. So anyway I don’t own Numb3rs or any of the songs used.

Summary: Nothing in life is every that easy, and as hard as it is to say goodbye sometimes you just have to, even if you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with that person.

~*~*~

Learning to Breathe Alone

Part One: The Hardest Thing to Do Is Say Goodbye

~*~*~

The lights are off again

She took me by surprise

She's so sensitive

This sh*t just happens sometimes

She's my everything

She's my best friend and more

We don't do anything

We didn't do the day

Before you go

You oughta know

That I didn't mean to hurt you, I just wanted you to know

‘Losing Lisa’ by Ben Folds

~*~*~

She sits across from him on a small lounge chair her parents had given her as a house warming present; it had actually belonged to her grandmother. It’s rather stiff and in desperate need of reupholstering.

Their daughter, Aaren, is only a few rooms away and she has a baby monitor placed next to her on the armrest of the chair.

He looks as much of a messy as he did last night when he’d shown up at the door, completely drunk after having disappeared for three months.

“I never wanted to hurt you.” He says apologetically, and she knows he means it but doesn’t change anything.

“I know.”

“I just…”

“I know…”

“You always did, didn’t you…?” He says laughing ever so slightly as the realisation finally comes to him. He takes a sip of the coffee she had brought him earlier.

“I’ve known you my entire life, Nathan. It’s hard not to pick up on at least some of your eccentricities in that time.” She says. He gives her a conceding nod, wincing at the pain from his hangover.

“I guess I really messed up this time, didn’t I?” Nathan asks jokingly.

“Yes, you did.” She says seriously and he can tell just by her tone of voice that something isn’t right here.

~*~*~

I was sitting on my doorstep,

I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,

But I knew I had to do it,

And he wouldn't understand,

So hard to see myself without him,

I felt a piece of my heart break,

But when you're standing at a crossroad,

There's a choice you gotta make.

‘Starts with Goodbye’ by Carrie Underwood

~*~*~

“Jordan?” He asks sounding somewhat confused and she sighs, taking a deep breath before she even thinks about trying to answer his unasked query.

“This isn’t working.”

“What isn’t working?” He asks sounding more confused now then he had been before.

“This…” She says motioning at the two of them. “You and me… I can’t keep doing it.”

“What do you mean?” He asks because he really doesn’t understand what she’s trying to say, it seems too impossible to him that she could end this.

“That it’s probably time we called it quits on this relationship of ours.”

They sit there in silence for a long time, and he’s almost waiting for her to tell this is all some joke but he knows she’d never joke like that.

“There’s not a chance that you could…?“ He says searching for something – anything – that might tell him that this isn’t really the end.

She has to close her eyes tight to stop herself from crying, from giving this another try, because she’s spent too much time crying over him…

For him…

With him…

It doesn’t really matter in the end.

~*~*~

Of all the things I believe in

I just want to get it over with

Tears form behind my eyes

But I do not cry

Counting the days that past me by

‘Goodbye to You’ by Michelle Branch

~*~*~

They’ve been together so long, they lived together; had a child together; had known each other almost their entire lives. They’d been through so much together over the years.

And she really does love him, so much that sometimes it actually physically hurts and she knows that he loves her too but…

She can’t stay with him, and as hard as it’s going to be to say goodbye to him, she knows she has to.

Because love isn’t always enough…

Because, sometimes, everything isn’t enough…

“No…” Jordan says shaking her head and she knows he can hear the decisive air in her voice as he slumps slightly in the seat across from her. “I do love you, Nathan, but I’m just not sure I can trust you… At least not now…”

“So there’s still a chance?” He asks desperate for any sign that there might still be some hope left for the two of them.

“I don’t know, Nathan… Maybe.” She closes her eyes again trying to lessen the sudden burst of confusion his questions bring on, that gives her a headache.

She wants to cry but she can’t. She won’t let herself. She wishes he could just leave it all alone but she knows him well enough to know that he can’t do that.

~*~*~

I don't want to be tough

And I don't want to be proud

I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found

I'm not lost

I need to be loved

I just need to be loved

I just want to be loved by you and I won't stop 'cause I believe

That maybe, yeah maybe

Maybe, yeah maybe

‘Maybe’ by Kelly Clarkson

~*~*~

“What about Aaren?” He asks.

“Well I’m not going to keep her from you, if that’s what you’re worried about.” She says, almost hoping that’s what he meant when he mentioned their daughter.

“Shouldn’t we try to stay together for her, at least?” He says and she shakes her head.

“It’s not enough…” She says “and I can’t look after her and you at the same time. It’s just too hard.”

“I can look after myself, you know.” He says getting somewhat defensive.

“Nathan, you showed up at the door at 3 o’clock in the morning – drunk – after disappearing for three whole months, telling no one where you were, after we had a fight about a T-shirt for god sake!” She says angrily and he knows she has a point but he’s not about to admit it.

“I was upset, stressed and scared; my parents were getting divorced and I had soccer to worry about and the sudden knowledge I was a father now. I didn’t know what to do!”

“You could have talked to me, Nathan! I had to find out about your parents from my mother and do you think I wasn’t scared? My God, Nathan, I’m only 19. What the hell do you think I know about taking care of a kid?”

A cry from the baby monitor filled the room as if Aaren could somehow sense her parent’s argument in the living room and was attempting to stop it. Jordan sighs as she walks towards the door baby monitor in hand.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Nathan.” She says as she stops at the doorway for a few moments. “Just give me some time and we’ll see, alright? That’s all I can give you.”

He nods grudgingly and falls back onto the couch, and for the first time he realises just how much he’s going to miss her.

~*~*~

So many things I would take back

You were the best I ever had

I don't blame you for hating me

I didn't mean to make you leave

You and I were living like a love song

I feel so bad, I feel so bad that you're gone

‘Best I Ever Had’ by State of Shock

Bad Luck and Growing Up

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 15:29:25 GMT

My god what a bad past few months I've been having!

On September 29th this year my computer shut down and erased everything - icons, pictures, music, stories, my own song lyrics, microsoft word... Which was okay, I guess... I mean what could I do about it, right?

I still had most of my music on my ipod, and i'd printed out a lot of songs and stories and some of my icons were in photobucket. Of course I did lose all this unfinished, work-in-progress stuff, my list of passwords, and an essay I wrote in school that I rather liked... and I think this book I pretty much wrote on Caesar (I was bored one night).

So all in all it was a dent, a bit upsetting but nothing major and my mother said she'd call the computer guy to look at it.

It's now November, almost two months later and I'm still waiting for that to actually happen, and while I'm waiting I'm using my father's old computer which is driving me BATTY. The thing is completely shit, good for small amounts of use but my god there is hardly any file space on it.

Anyway on the 9th, I think it was, of October I go out on a Friday night to have dinner with my friends in the city, which is not part of my usual Friday routine at all, and my wallet and my gameboy DS get stolen right out of my bag!

And then this month on the 13th of November I press the wrong button on itunes and it's bye bye to my music collection, which if you know me at all is amazingly large and like most of my life. So I've spent the past few hours trying to remember every single song and artist I had on my ipod and where I can possibly find these things.

The funny thing about all this is how sort of unperturbed I am by it. I mean if this had happened back when I was in school I would have curled up into a ball and cried for hours. I don't know, maybe it means that I'm growing up or just more Zen then I was before.

I don't know, whatever the reason I'm glad I still have my friends and my parents... Oh and my pets, of course.

Oh, Sweet distraction!

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 10:17:44 GMT

Oh, sweet distraction!
How I wish you would go,
though every time you leave,
I alway miss you so,

heehee a small poem written in one minute. I wrote another little verse but i didn't like it, so you won't get to see it.

Hello to all those people who actually bother to read anything that I have to say, and have missed me for not writing anything at all in the past months.

I am currently working on an essay at the moment (that's due tomorrow) and as my dear friend Emma keeps telling me at certain intervals 'I don't want to do this essay.' Of course I'll do it because I have to, though i suppose I could chose not to even though I know I won't because it's stupid idea not to.

Oh, sweet distraction!
how you send me on a tangent,
make me think of things.
i don't have time to do yet,

ha, another verse, now I feel creative... goodo.

Oh, sweet distraction!
how you leave me craving,
I know if I'm not careful,
you will make me cave in,

Oh, sweet distraction!
You're sort of like the rain,
you make the thoughts of procastination,
Grow within my brain,

Oh, sweet distraction,
How I wish you'd go away,
and come, come again,
another day,

:P anyway, back to work.

Caly

Resources

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 10:29:15 GMT

My number of resources used for my icon making has risen... unfortunately I don't have many of the links to the sites just the names of the people and where I found them.

I found a number of the textures and brushes on Deviant Art but a couple of them came from sites and live journal.

Currently I have not made any textures myself, so I'd just like to state quite clearly that none of the textures belong to me, and I don't really know how to make brushes.

Textures:

823freckles
AlaskanIcons
angel_elf
Angelwings
beyondtonight
Bombay101
Cala_Jane
CDG
Daughterofsnape
deviant-dandelion
engel_der_finsternis
Europhic_acid
Ewanism
goodxriddance
iceytina
Illyera
iris_elegance
Konpeki_stock
Korine Forever
lilbrokenangel
lookslikerain
Lore_85
lostinsidethecrowd
Moshesque
princesspeach0221
Sanami276
sheepy_hollow
SparklingTea
spiritcoda
stoptobelieve
Tarla
tcg1026
Tove91
Tuulia
xplastique

Brushes:

BlackenCrow
crystalsc
Daughterofsnape
EmilieDeRavin
ennife
erendisblack
Flo-ora
jacksellie
KeReN_R
LoveKateWalsh
Mutsie
nicolejaninexo
rwork
Shad0w-GFX
shallowsleep
smashmethod
Starlight1986
touchstoneset3
xcatrionax
xinstinctive
XxMortanixX

Icons

Tue, 20 May 2008 12:36:09 GMT

Ok, I got some of these pictures from Hugh Laurie site, and livejournal House Cuddy Community and the rest from Messing Around.

There are more coming later... but this is what I've got now.

Preview:

Cuddy

1.    2.     3.     4.

5.    6.     7.     8.

House

1.     2.

Huddy

1.     2.     3.

Hugh

1.     2.     3.     4.

5.     6.     7.     8.

9.     10.   11. 12.

13.

Debra Messing

1.     2.     3.    4.

5.     6.     7.     8.

9. 10.

Ok well that's it... I hope they're ok and that I haven't done any lasting sort of damage to anyone by putting these here. Anyway I'll say hi again sometime later.

Caly

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 04:38:10 GMT

Hello,

I'm back, sorry but this entry is only going to be really short.

I'd like to say a hey-de-ho to all my friends that bother to read this and hope you're all doing well.

Alright ta ta

Caly

Smallville Fanfic

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 15:30:39 GMT

Title: His Perfect Woman

Author: Profiler Charlee

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don’t own Smallville, or any of its characters. If I did I’d probably be writing for the show instead of coming up with fanfics, so please don’t sue me.

Summary: The thought of someone like Lois had never even crossed his mind but looking at her in his arms now he couldn’t see how she couldn’t be.

~*~*~

When he was younger he’d always thought that his perfect woman was someone like Lana Lang, the girl next door who he had had a crush on for what had seemed like forever.

He’d thought she’d be intelligent and pretty and caring and loyal and accept him for whom and what he really was when he told her his secret.

Someone who would never have to worry because she’d always know that he’d be there to save her… Always be there to be her hero.

Of course with Lana, he’d spent so much time putting her up on a pedestal that words just seemed to get stuck in his throat and he was too afraid of what her reaction to his secret might be if he ever told her.

Then along came Alicia Baker, someone who had powers of her own and accepted Clark for what he was straight off the bat, when she’d found out.

Clark had thought that once again he’d found perfect woman for himself, though he supposes Lana still held the basis of that image and that Alicia had worked that out and that’s why every thing had gone wrong the first time around.

The second time around he didn’t even want to think about, it was painful and hurt more then he’d imagined it would, but the one thing he’d always remember about Alicia was how safe he’d felt around her.

On the day Zod had invaded and Chloe had kissed him because she thought she might never see him again he’d thought for a while that maybe Chloe was his perfect woman, maybe his loyal best friend was the woman he’d been looking for.

She kept his secret and helped him come up with excuses all the time, she was always there for him whenever he might need her, she was intelligent and fairly pretty and she truly cared about him.

Though no matter how he tried he couldn’t bring himself to see her as more then a friend, a very good friend, but still just a friend and while he’d thought he’d probably be happy with her, she just wasn’t the perfect woman for him.

Now standing in his loft dancing slowly with his arms around Lois Lane, he thinks he’s found the perfect woman for him.

It’s such a strange realisation to have because the thought of someone like Lois had never even crossed his mind but looking at her in his arms now he couldn’t see how she couldn’t be.

She was caring and loyal and intelligent and pretty without seeming to be completely flawless like Lana, not only was she those things but she was so much more.

She was determined and straight-forward and she wasn’t so helpless that she couldn’t look after herself. She never let him retreat too far inside himself. She managed to pull him out of his shell in a way that no one ever had before.

She also never pushed him to tell her his secret, she never even asked and as she looked up at him then and smiled he knew that when he did finally tell her she’d accept him for whom and what he was.

Of all the women in the world he’d never expected Lois Lane to be the perfect one for him but he supposes life’s just unexpected like that and he really wouldn’t want it to be anyone else.

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 14:58:42 GMT

Title: Running Away From Home

Author: ProfilerCharlee

Rating: PG-13

Categories: General/Romance

Spoilers: Rose

Disclaimer: I don’t own Doctor Who it belongs to the BBC. The last part is the ending of the Rose episode.

Summary: Pre-series and beginning of the Series story about Rose Tyler before the Doctor. It also shows a little bit of her afterwards

~*~*~

The first time Rose Tyler had run away from home she’d been about five years old. She’d been angry at her mum at the time because she’d refused to buy Rose a pink parasol like her friend, Shareen, had. She and her mum had gotten in an argument over it and Rose had stormed out the door and gotten as far as the Chinese place on the corner before she realised she didn’t really have anywhere to go and had to walk back.

The second time that Rose had run away from home she’d been a bit older then fifteen and had believed herself to be in love with a guy called Jimmy Stone. Jimmy had been absolutely gorgeous as well as charming and charismatic. He had this smile that seemed to light up a room and Rose had thought she’d won the lottery with him.

He was working to be a musician when he’d asked her if she’d move in with him and, young and naïve as she was, Rose had found the world he offered her exciting. She’d dumped Mickey and quickly run off with Jimmy. It hadn’t taken too long until she worked out that, while Jimmy was typically tall dark and handsome he was also a complete and utter space cadet.

Three days later with no money in her pockets or her bank account and an eighty dollar debt Rose had gone to the nearest police station, and one of the officers had drove her home. Her mum had chewed her ear off about it when she’d gotten home for at least an hour and a half.

Later, her mum had paid the eighty dollar debt and bought Rose a mobile phone, with strict instructions to call her if something was wrong. Also, after pulling a few strings, she’d gotten Rose a job at Henrik’s, telling her she had to work off every penny she had cost her.

The third time she had runaway from home she hadn’t been in love, at least not yet exactly, and she hadn’t been angry at her mum. The third time she had runaway from home had just been because a stranger had taken her hand and offered her the world, and she would have regretted it forever if she hadn’t.

~*~*~

He grins slightly as he heads back inside the machine he called the TARDIS, leaving the door slightly open for her. Rose turns to look at Mickey who is now standing next to her.

‘Thanks’

‘Thanks for what?’

‘Exactly.’ She says before kissing his cheek quickly and running away from home with a smile on her face.

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 01:25:24 GMT

Congrats, you got Harry (The Hero).

Background - You were sorted into Slytherin. At first the hat wasn't sure where to put you, but then it saw how much Ambition you have so that's where you end up. You become best friends with Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger, becuase you don't share the same views on muggleborns as other Slytherins do.

Even though Hermione was a friend of yours you rather disliked Harry Potter, becuase you thought he was arrogant and too full of himself. He didn't seem to like you much either, which was fine with you.

Love Story - You stayed after in Transfiguration to help Professor McGonagall with some things. After you finished in there you started to leave the classroom but someone bumped into you. You and all your books fell onto the floor. You didn't bother to look up and see who it was, so you just started to pick your things up.

The person who also bumped into you did the same, finally there was one book left. Your hands touched and you noticed the mystery person was a guy. Your eyes met and you both pulled away in disgust. It was Harry Potter.

"I can get it myself." You snap after pulling away.

"Didn't look that way to me." Harry said standing back up.

"Just stay away from me Potter!" You bend down and pick your books back up. He holds out your books that he picked up. You quickly grab them from his arms and start to walk out of the room.

"You know you COULD say Thank You!" He called after you

"Yeah Right!" You answer back laughing silently to yourself. Later that day you decided to study in the library with Hermione. You told her about how you ran into Harry earlier that day.

"Honestly I don't see why you two try and hate eachother!" Hermione said when you finished.

"What do you mean? I do hate him. We hate eachother." You were confused by what she had just said.

"Oh please, _____, you and Harry would be per-"

"Don't even say it." You mumbled before Hermione even finished.

"Fine. If you don't want to see it." She said picking up her things.

"Where are you going?"

"I told Pavarti I'd help her with her DADA homework."

"Bye!" You call to her when she started to leave. She waved back. You sat there considering what Hermione had said. Me... not hate Potter? No, I don't think that's possible. Although he is kinda cute... but completly full of himself. No way! I'd facy Draco before Potter! You were so consumed by your thoughts you didn't notice that someone had left a note in front of you.

You quickly opened it up and scribbled across the paper were the words 'Meet me at the lake tomorrow afternoon'. You shrugged and went up to your dorm. You spent the rest of your day as you normally did; hanging out with your friends, practicing Quidditch, eating whichever meals and making fun of Potter.

The next day at noon you went down the the lake.<i>This better be important, I'm wasting my lunch for this</i> You thought to yourself. When you got there you noticed that no one was even at the lake.

"Oh I knew this was just a joke!" You said outloud to yourself.

"No. I don't think it is." You turned around and saw.. Potter? Now you were confused.

"YOU?" You asked pointing at him. He slowly came up to you.

"Me." He said slyly.

"But... wh-" Before you could finish you felt his lips on yours. You were kissing him more passionatly then you had ever kissed anyone before. You were passionatly kissing the guy you had always hated, and you loved it.

"I don't hate you. I love you ____" You leaned closer into him, if that were possible.

"I love you too."You both spent the rest of your time at Hogwarts dating. You had a very hot and cold relationship, or love hate. Some days you would be all 'love-dovey' and other days you would be arguing. But when you were hot... you definetly were hot. You ended up getting married to Harry after he defeated Lord Voldemort. You also had 3 kids; Lily, James and Rose Anne.

Take this quiz at:
http://www.quizilla.com/users/JPLover3/quizzes/HP%20Love%20Story%20%5BLong%20Results%5D%20%5BNot%20typical%20results%20either%5D%20%5B7%20Questiosn%5D/

Snickers Fanfic

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 09:35:17 GMT

Title: As Long As She Smiles

Author: Profiler Charlee

Rating: K+

Category: Romance/Angst

Fandom: CSI

Spoilers: End of Season 6 “Way to Go”

Pairing: One-sided Nick/Sara, Sara/Grissom

Disclaimer: If I own CSI, do you think Grissom and Sara would seriously still be together? No-offence meant to GSR fans… I also don’t own the song “It’s Too Late” which is by Hope Partlow

Summary: My take on what might be Nick and Sara’s first conversation about her new relationship with Grissom.

~*~*~

Its too late to regret
cause you already left
it's too late to hold on
because your already gone
I don't know how I will carry on

“It’s Too Late” by Hope Partlow

~*~*~

‘So I heard about you and Grissom.’ He says casually bringing it into the conversation as their getting ready to leave now that their shifts are over.

He’s not sure if he’s really ready to hear what her reply might be but there’s a twisted masochistic part of him wants to hear it from her, a part of him that wants to have her confirm it and to tell him that maybe time to let her go and move on, if that’s even possible.

‘Yeah, isn’t it great?’ She replies as she closes her locker and turns to look at him with a big smile on her face.

She looks happier then he’s ever seen her before and he’s happy for her, really he is; because she deserves to be happy. More then any one else he knows he believes she deserves to be happy, but…

He feels like someone has stabbed him in the heart a couple times then decided that it would be more fun to twist the blade around.

‘Yeah, yeah, it sure is…’ He says sounding somewhat defeated. She seems to notice because she frowns slightly before he smiles as best he can and continues, ‘I’m happy for you, Sara.’

He almost wants to blame her, for making him fall in love with her, but he can’t because he loves her too much to blame her for it.

He can’t blame Grissom, either, because he knows that there’s just something about Sara that draws you to her. Of course, that doesn’t stop him being if only the tiniest bit jealous of him.

‘Thank you, Nick.’

A part of him is also more annoyed with himself than anything else, for letting him-self fall in love with Sara even though he’s always known that she belonged to Grissom.

That thought makes him want to laugh when he realises what he just thought, and knows that Sara would probably get annoyed at him for even thinking she belonged to anybody if she ever knew.

‘Well, have a nice day.’ He says and he means it, even if she spends her day with Grissom, he hopes that she really will have a nice day.

He can be annoyed at himself all he wants for letting himself fall for her really but he’s sure that he would have fallen in love with her anyway because by the time he had realised that he did love her it was already too late.

‘You too,’ She says. ‘See around Nick.’ She walks out the door, and he watches her go. He wants to call her back but knows that he won’t.

He knows she doesn’t love him, not the way he sometimes wished she would, but he still loves her. He’ll always love her, even if she loves someone else.

He’ll still always be there for her whenever she might need him, because dependable is just what he is and if he can help her, just make her smile for him one time then all this will be enough.

He loves her more then anyone he’s ever known and probably more then anyone he ever will, but she doesn’t know and he’s ok with that as long as she smiles…

Supernatural Fanfic

Sun, 24 Sep 2006 13:13:57 GMT

Title: The Butterfly Dreamer

Author: ProfilerCharlee

Rating: M

Category: Horror, Action/Adventure, Romance and Tragedy

Characters or Pairing: Dean/OC, Sam/OC, and John

Disclaimer: I don’t own Supernatural, it belongs to Warner Brothers. If I did own Supernatural, well I could think of much more interesting things to be “doing” then writing fanfiction.

Summary: A strange phone call connected with an age old myth doesn’t seem that out of the ordinary for the Winchester brothers, until two mysterious strangers appear.

~*~*~

Chapter 1

‘I think I’ve found something.’ Sam said looking up from his computer at Dean.

‘Yeah?’ Dean replied.

‘In Clark, South Dakota a girl named Jeanne Winter was found dead near the bodies of five year old Caleb and three year old Gemma Harris, the two kids that she was babysitting. Anyway, apparently she’d called the police only a few minutes before her estimated time of death about a number of strange phone calls.’

‘You know I think I saw that movie. Babysitter receives a number of phone calls from some guy, then calls the police and they tell her that the calls are coming from inside the house.’

‘Well yeah…’

‘Sam, it’s probably just a story someone put on the net to make it look like the stories real.’

‘I know that’s why I did a bit more digging. It turns out that in the past fifty years there are around sixteen deaths that hold almost the exact same story, all of them happening in this one house.’

‘Alright, we’ll check it out then but if it turns out to be a hoax then we are heading straight to Vegas Sammy.’ Dean said as a young blonde waitress with a large bust placed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him. He smiled boyishly and winked at her before she rolled her eyes and headed back towards the kitchen.

Sam let out an exasperated sigh at his older brother’s antics. He’d had more to tell Dean about this but Dean wasn’t listening anymore, too wrapped up in his food to really care. Well, Sam thought, at least I got him to agree to check it out.

Sam picked up his piece of toast and took a bite as he scanned through the information that he’d collected on the death of the babysitter and the children. Of all the victims he had looked at so far, Jeanne had been the only babysitter who had actually died in the children’s room.

~*~*~

Jasmine and Ivory rebelliously climbed the old withered sandstone walls. The sun shone down through the trees and two young girls in white petticoats darted in and out of view, the sound of their laughter filling the air.

She sat on a swing, swaying back and forth ever so slightly, as she watched them. A Ulysses Butterfly appeared within her view and she held out her hand and the butterfly landed on her index finger.

The laughter stopped as millions of other butterflies appeared and through the cloud of fluttering wings she could see one of the girls looking at her with piercing blue-grey eyes. Then everything was blocked from her view.

~*~*~

A young girl woke, gasping for breathe, in a lumpy and uncomfortable bed of the dull cheap hotel room she and her friend had decided to stay in. The sheets had been kicked onto the floor and she was soaked in thin layer of sweat.

There were those butterflies again, she thought.

Supernatural Fanfic

Sun, 24 Sep 2006 13:11:25 GMT

Title: The Butterfly Dreamer

Author: ProfilerCharlee

Rating: M

Category: Horror, Action/Adventure, Romance and Tragedy

Characters or Pairing: Dean/OC, Sam/OC, and John

Disclaimer: I don’t own Supernatural, it belongs to Warner Brothers. If I did own Supernatural, well I could think of much more interesting things to be “doing” then writing fanfiction. I also don’t own The Simpsons.

Summary: A strange phone call connected with an age old myth doesn’t seem that out of the ordinary for the Winchester brothers, until two mysterious strangers appear.

~*~*~

Prologue

Jeanne let out a sigh of relief. She’d had to put Caleb and Gemma to bed after Mr and Mrs Harris had called to say they were staying a bit longer at the party they had gone to. Jeanne had been glad because it had given her enough time to clean up the kitchen before they got back.

Caleb and Gemma had wanted to make a cake and inevitably the cake mix had ended up everywhere except in the actual cake tin. Jeanne had gotten them both to help clean up the mess they had made before sending them off to have a shower and then to bed.

Now, at nine thirty, Jeanne was ready to just kick back and relax. She turned on the TV, flicking through the channels before settling on a rerun of The Simpsons. She settled on the lounge chair, completely exhausted.

Caleb and Gemma could be a real handful sometimes, but out of all the kids she baby-sited they were probably her favourite. They were such loveable kids and the fact that Mr and Mrs Harris were both really nice people and paid extremely well was just an added bonus.

She was having a few issues at home and at school and her mum kept nagging her about how high her mobile phone bills had gotten recently. So when they had called to ask her if she’d like to baby sit Caleb and Gemma, she’d been glad to accept them.

On the TV show, Bart was running from a bunch of Australian officials towards the American embassy. Jeanne laughed quietly as Bart pulled down his shorts to reveal the words he had written there.

*Ring* *Ring*

Jeanne glared at the phone slightly, unhappy at the interruption, but walked over to the phone anyway supposing it was probably her boyfriend, whom she had told to call her here when he got the chance. She laughed again as Homer said something that seemed completely ludicrous. She was still laughing when she picked the phone up.

‘Hello, Harris Residence.’ Jeanne said cheerfully.

‘Soon.’ The voice on the other end said before hanging up, the dial tone ringing in her ears. Jeanne frowned a little before dismissing it as one of her boyfriend’s friend’s idea of a practical joke. If it was she had to say that it wasn’t very funny.

She’d begun to walk back to the lounge room, in a hurry to return to her show and forget all about the voice she had just heard on the other end. She’d reached the lounge room door, when…

*Ring* *Ring*

Jeanne frowned and returned to answer the phone. She could hear someone breathing heavily into the phone and suddenly Jeanne felt a shiver run down her spine.

‘Hello, Harris Residence.’ Jeanne said but nobody replied even though she could still hear them breathing. ‘Grant, is that you?’ still no one answered. ‘Seriously Grant, if that’s you, this isn’t funny.’ Again she got no answer. ‘I’m not joking!’ This time she heard the person on the other end laugh, a cold and terrifying sound.

‘I’m closer then you think.’ The voice said before hanging up once again. Jeanne was now officially freaked and once she found out who was making these calls she was seriously going to give them a talking to.

*Ring* *Ring*

‘Who is this?’ Jeanne demanded.

‘Why don’t you come and see?’ The voice said before Jeanne slammed the phone down.

*Ring* *Ring*

Jeanne jumped as the phone rang again, her hand pausing over the phone before deciding, instead, to ignore it and return to her show.

*Ring* *Ring*

Jeanne continued to ignore the phone, but it kept ringing and it was starting to get on Jeanne’s nerves. The minute that it stopped she called the police, who agreed to put a trace on the phone call. They called her back a few minutes later.

‘Ms Winter?’ The Officer asked. ‘I would advise you to grab the children and get out of that house as soon as possible. Whoever is calling you is already in the house.’

‘Caleb and Gemma!’ Jeanne whispered in a panicked tone before hanging up and rushing up the stairs to where Caleb and Gemma were sleeping.

~*~*~

Mr and Mrs Harris arrived home, slightly tipsy from the amount of wine they’d consumed at the party. It was probably the one reason why they hadn’t actually noticed that the door was open. It wasn’t until they made it upstairs that they knew something was wrong.

The Neighbours next door woke to the sound of Mrs Harris’ screams echoing in the silence of the night as she looked upon the mangled and shredded bodies of her two children and their babysitter.

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 11:22:46 GMT

Jinx

You scored 83%Natural ability, 71% Trained Agent, and 50% Evilness!

Jinx is a NSA agent who teams up with James in "Die another day." They first meet in Cuba where James doesn't realise she is actually a spy. They team up in order to bring Zao to justice and to stop Gustav Graves evil plan. Jinx is good when she is good but even better when she is bad. Jinx is full of wise cracks and is able to hold her own whether it be in conversation or in a fight.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Bystander
You scored higher than 99% on Natural ability
You scored higher than 99% on Trained Agent
You scored higher than 99% on Evilness

Link: The Which Bond Girl Are you Test written by cameo_man on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Iconic

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 12:44:44 GMT

I made a whole lot of Doctor Who Ninth and Rose... they're all in this area...

http://pics.livejournal.com/profilercharlee/gallery/00004z2p?page=1

;)

Charlee

Doctor Who Fanfic

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 13:47:30 GMT

Title: Travelling with a broken man

Author: ProfilerCharlee

Rating: PG

Characters or Pairing: OC, Tenth – hints of Tenth/Rose, if you read between the lines

Spoilers: Slightly Doomsday

Disclaimer: I don’t own Doctor who or any of its characters, they belong to the BBC.

Summary: Post-Doomsday. The Doctor has a new companion and he finds himself remembering and comparing her to Rose.

Author Note: The companion isn’t Martha Jones; my assumption is that this is after Martha Jones or instead of.

~*~*~

She’s travelling with a broken man, she thinks as she takes a seat in the bar. It almost makes her laugh because it sounds like the name of some kind of country song, and she can hear the sound of a twanging guitar playing in her head.

The air around her is thick with cigarette smoke and she’s highly aware that she’ll spend at least two days trying remove the smell from her clothes. She finds it strange that this doesn’t bother as much as it used to, but she supposes it’s because after what she’s seen in the past few days, with him, the smell of cigarette smoke isn’t so bad.

The Bartender, who looks somewhat like a cross between Disney’s Dumbo, but with three trunks instead of one, and the common representation of a circus Ring master, takes her order and giving it to her before he leaves her alone to think. She isn’t alone for long before a somewhat sleazy looking lizard like creature with sunglasses walks over to her.

‘Sssso, what’ssss a pretty girl like you doing in a placccce like thissss?’ The Lizard-like man hisses slithering on to the chair next to her. She resists the urge to roll her eyes at the cheesy pick-up line, though slightly amazed that it doesn’t seem to have lost it’s momentum even after all this time and along all this distance.

‘Getting a drink,’ she says, trying not to sound too agitated by the disturbance and not really in the mood for being nice. She sculls the turquoise blue liquid, which seems to be the colour of whatever drink it was she ordered, in the shot glass as she finally begins to ponder the question.

What is she doing here?

Travelling with the Doctor, her mind answers her. As if on cue the Doctor enters the bar and manages to scoop her out from among the crowd. She sees him raise his eye-brows in a quick gesture that tells her he’s ready to go.

She gets up from her stool, leaving some cash under the shot glass and walks over to where the Doctor is waiting. When she reaches him he gives her a smile that she’s sure isn’t complete, but she still smiles back in response.

As she watches him she wonders about all that he has lost, what it is, how much, and who. She wonders about his regrets, whether he has any, what he never got the chance to say to someone.

These questions all go through her head as she follows him to the TARDIS. It’s when he holds out his hand to her and tells her to hurry up that the question is suddenly ringing is her ears again.

What is she doing here?

Travelling with this broken man, to places and times that she had always believed were out of her reach. It’s then that she realises that it isn’t just about the travelling, it about him as well.

The Doctor

She’s here because she wants to understand him, because he’s an enigma and she likes that about him. She wants to find out who he is, and in a way she wants to show him a little of whom she is.

So when he asks her where she wants to go, she knows exactly where she wants to take him – Rome.

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 08:24:37 GMT

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last month I gave triggur a kidney (1000 points). Last Tuesday I ruled Iran as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). Last Friday I helped triggur see the light (8 points). Last Wednesday I helped triggur hide a body (-173 points). Last Monday I bought porn for triggur (-10 points).

Overall, I've been nice (125 points). For Christmas I deserve a shiny red ball!

Sincerely,
Profilercharlee

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 07:01:50 GMT

Rome - Doctor Who

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 06:23:21 GMT

Title: Rome
Rating: G
Characters or Pairing: Tenth, OC, slightly Tenth/Rose
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Doctor Who or it characters, they belong to the BBC
Spoilers: None really, but I’ll say Doomsday
Summary: Post-Doomsday, The Doctor has a new companion and he finds himself remembering and comparing her to Rose.

~*~*~

‘Rome,’ she said as she looked at him, ‘If you can take me anywhere, Doctor, I want to go to Rome – 59 BC, the beginning of the first triumvirate. I want to meet Julius Caesar.’ He watches as her eyes sparkle suddenly at the idea of everything to come. He smiles at this and he can begin to feel that spark of excitement in him too.
‘Right, well let’s get this show on the road then.’ He replies and shuffles around the TARDIS control board in some what like his usually fashion, she doesn’t know and he can’t tell but it isn’t as enthusiastic as before – when Rose was there.
She notices though, that something isn’t entirely right in the way he’s moving about, even though she hasn’t been there for long, just the new girl.
She’s aware that something is wrong just by the look in his eyes, a haunted look of a loss that stays with you for such a long time, but she doesn’t know exactly what it is that he’s lost. She knows that look, because she’s seen it many times before and even wears it herself sometimes.
Well, she decides, she’ll just have to be enthusiastic enough about this for both of them. She smiles at him and then hurries from the room.

~*~*~

The Doctor looks up at his new companion, as she rushed to get changed, following the directions he had given her a while before.
When she comes back she’s wearing a white chiton and her hair was done up with a fast attempt to make curls and lots of gold pins were used. She had on leather sandals and she held out a white toga to him along with one ring and a male pair of leather sandals.
He took the clothes from her gratefully though he raised his eyebrows at her and she blushed slightly under his gaze and shuffled her feet nervously. She wouldn’t meet his eye but as he turned to head to the bathroom to change he heard her say softly, so softly he almost didn’t hear her.
‘Sorry, I always feel the need to try and impress people… Of course, there’s not much point to do it with you, you’ve probably met millions and billions of more impressive people then me.’ He turns around to look at her, but she isn’t looking at him. She doesn’t even look like she’s even said anything at all, but he knows she has because he heard her.
He had stood there for a few minutes before saying thank you and then slipped off to get changed into the classical clothing.
When he comes back out, she’s sitting on the seat trying to straighten out the chiton just a little bit. She looks up at him and smiles before rushing over to grab his hand and drag him to the door.
‘Come on then, let’s have an adventure!’ She says excitedly, she lets go of his hand and pushes the door open before walking outside into Rome 59 BC. He looks at her as she smiles at him once more before pulling a face at the horrid smell of air. ‘Gawd! I didn’t expect it to be this bad.’ He lets out a little laugh which causes her to smile again.
He looks at her and it really hits him how different she is, with her…

        Stormy blue-grey eyes…
                 Chocolate brown hair…
                           Porcelain coloured skin…
                                 And an accent that seems to have come from a mixture of different places…

She wasn’t Rose, He knows that, because no one but Rose could ever be Rose, but she’d do. For now, he decided, she’d do.

Doctor Who and HSC Trials

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 05:18:18 GMT

I'm probably going to sound crazy saying this but I love exam weeks because it's the only time of the year in which Godzilla or, as my friend Alice says would be better for me, Mothra (this is my pessimistic side by the way) is defending Tokyo (my optimistic side) rather then destroying it.
No idea why this is, but I love it. If I had to venture a guess though it's probably because I don't have time to be pessimistic.
Anyway I'm trying to work but it's not working so well as you can probably tell seeing as I'm writing on this instead of doing Maths but I'll get around to it soon.

I've currently developed a new obsession with Doctor Who, and when I say obsessed I really mean it, I've been on all the viral marketing sites, found as many sites as I possibly can on Doctor Who, Am saving up to buy the old series...
used a lot of my money to buy the series with the Ninth Doctor, which I have now watched about 20 times in the past two weeks, have created my own icons for it. (Never done that before)
have searched and saved as many music video on Doctor Who, and episode clips that you can find in places on the internet. Which means downloading the Children in Need episode which they didn't seem to show here in Oz (at least not to my recollection)
I'm also saving to buy all the books, which I have almost collected all of the ones on the ninth doctor (Just need the Monsters Inside), and am trying to find a way to order the magazines out here and have taken up both Jackie and Rose Tylers accents (which is scary)
see I'm obsessed...
I also got out De Lovely just to see John Barrowman in it.
Ugh.

Anyway I need to get back to work.

Long Time Coming

Mon, 15 May 2006 07:05:59 GMT

I have a new resolve for today and the following days after this.

My Resolve is to not think about how much this year is worth and concentrate on how much fun I can have and all that crap.

I think its a pretty good resolve, but all I got to do is make it work for the rest of the year, cause there's no real point in making it if it isn't going to be for the long term.

I'm a little tired at the moment but that's not really something that I'm gonna admit to anyone out loud, because for goodness gracious imagine what disasters that would cause. I, the queen of Insomnia, am tired.

Ugh!

I'm writing a story and its really confusing because I know what the story is but it doesn't seem to find its way into something that makes sense in written form. Maybe I just need to keep going with my little stories and writings on the characters, because thats what I'm good at. The Characters.

I have really great character ideas and story ideas but I can never seem to put them into a story format, but I will not give up. I WILL PREVAIL!

I fail at everything else, at least I can keep this up and become a writer as a back up plan if this doesn't work.

hmmm...

I don't know...

ok, it's now five past five, time to go back to neopets and win points.

SPORTS CARNIVAL TOMORROW, what fun...

Bye